my must-do-this-or-life-stinks list (aka Five Fave Parenting Hacks)

I was going to keep this for tomorrow's "Five Faves" but I decided to go ahead and write it today while Theo is super happy and occupied with his bowl of leftover pho and the three other boys are happy with schoolwork and the baby is sleeping.  No guarantees that it will happen again tomorrow, so today's the day.  I'll probably cheat and still link up with Jenna tomorrow, though.    

I couldn't decide what to call this, so Parenting Hacks it is.  It's not really a list of TRUE life hacks, since I'm not repurposing something to make life easier.....but these five things are necessary in the Circus household.  Without them...I'm pretty sure I'd be curled up in the fetal position on the bathroom floor, bawling.

Too many words, not enough hacking.  

Sorry.

Let me fix that.

Hack #1:

Music.  Never underestimate the power of music.   We are huge Pandora fans here, and let me tell you, I've got that thing trained.  We have schoolwork music.  We have playtime music.  We have Advent music.  We have Lent music.  We have quiet time music.  We have dance party music.  We have "everyone's-a-grump-and-we-need-to-break-the-grumpies" music.     

Need a change in attitudes?   Change the station.  Play it loud.    Need to get the kids on task with whatever they need to be doing (quieting down to signal that it's time for the babies to nap?  Done.   Time to pull out the books and get cracking on schoolwork?  Done.  Time to be goofy and keep the baby out of Mommy's hair so she can make dinner?   Done - it's 80s dance party time).

This works for the car, too.   Once I figured out that classical music calms down the rascals in our tight-fitting car (I love it, but every seat is full and as the boys grow.....so do the fights over space or toys), I mandated that it was the only thing we were listening to on our long drives back and forth to gymnastics practice.    Drives are soooooo much nicer now!

Along those lines, my secret weapon in the car can be found online for free OR at any public library.  

Audiobooks.

God bless the person who first decided to read a book and record themselves doing so.   They have saved our road trips.

Hack #2:

Keep nap time going.  Long after naps are being taken.

So far, all of my boys have ended their napping routine at a different age - Joseph made it to kindergarten before giving up his afternoon naps.  Graham made it until age 4.  Nicholas started sleeping 12 hours at night and not napping anymore around age 3.  Theo's still going strong with naps at age 5.  We'll see how Ruthie does, but my guess is that she's going to move into the same "one nap a day" rhythm that everyone else has had pretty soon.    Eventually, she and Theo will be on the same napping schedule completely, and it will match up with the rhythm that I have guarded like a Mama Bear the past 10 years:  busy all morning, lunch time, quiet time.

Even the non-nappers recognize and respect the schedule:   schoolwork and playing all morning, lunch time, then it's "feet-off-the-floor" time.  I don't really care WHERE they do their FOTF time, but it has to happen.   Quiet time reading, writing, drawing, or puzzle or Lego building happens immediately after lunch.  (And yes, quiet time music is its own station on Pandora).   

I *need* that quiet time to recharge for the rest of the day, and we will guard it until the last kid leaves the Circus.   I think one of the reasons dinner time can get so chaotic and so many parents struggle with a "witching hour" just before bedtime is a complete abandonment of nap time.   I refuse to give it up!

Hack #3:

Never start a load of laundry that you won't be able to see through to the very end.  As in, folded and put away in the right drawers/closets.   If you don't have time to wash, dry, fold, and put away a load of laundry, don't start it until you do.    Following this philosophy has made a WORLD of difference in our home life, and honestly, our level of frustration.   Meaning.....the frustration with housework is WAAAYYY lower than it once was.  Sometimes I think I'll be able to see a load through to the end and life happens and I end up not getting to it, but those times are few and far between.    It's amazing - without that back up of laundry staring me in the face, I don't feel as incompetent as a mom and housewife.   I actually feel - most days - like I'm relatively equipped for this job I've found myself in!

Hack #4:

Again related to the previous hack....get rid of at least half of your kids' clothing.   You really don't need it.   Especially once you get up to having as many kids as we do, you're going to be doing laundry on a daily basis, anyway, so your kids will have those clothes back in their drawers in no time.    I've found that the perfect amount of clothing for my boys must include:  3 play shirts and 3 play pants.  5 pairs of underwear.  5 pairs of socks.  1 pair of church pants.  2 church shirts.  At least one hoodie (although my big boys get these often as "complimentary" at gymnastics meets, so we have more of these hanging in the closets).    They don't typically wear pajamas, but just sleep in boxers and tshirts, but we do always have one pair of pajamas per child in case they visit somewhere OR we have houseguests.    Ruthie has even less clothes - about 3 sleepers/pajamas, and probably 3-4 outfits, 2 pairs of tights, and a couple of pairs of socks.

Why only 5ish days' worth of clothes?   It's really simple:  they can start to dress themselves earlier - finding outfits isn't as overwhelming for little ones.    There's less clutter.   Things actually get worn until they're ready to be replaced by the next size, instead of brand new outfits going unworn before the child is too big to wear them.   Sorting laundry is easier, especially for those of us with the same gender all wearing about the same size - it's easier to call to mind a picture of which child wears which article of clothing if you see it worn more often.

And the number 1 reason to thin out closets until you only have 5 days worth of clothing?    

It's similar to making it easier for you to do the laundry:   because they wear the same clothes over and over again, the kids themselves recognize their clothing more easily and can FOLD AND PUT AWAY THE LAUNDRY FOR YOU.   

Hack #5:

Teach your children to cook.   Even if it's simple things, empowering them in the kitchen will make everyone's lives easier.   By 6, all of my kids can make a salad, peel and prep vegetables and fruit like carrots and apples, warm up and cut up their own frozen pancakes, and make their own instant oatmeal.     At 7, they start joining me in the kitchen and start learning how to scramble, fry, or hard boil eggs, cook noodles and sauce, or cook rice or quinoa.   At 8, they start learning how prepare meals out of this book.  (that book is, by far, our favourite "kid cookbook", because of the simple-to-read instructions, large photographs, and varied recipe options).  Teaching the kids to cook simple things may seem really overwhelming at first, but, let me tell you....it is game-changing as a parent.   Being able to ask Graham to go make some egg salad sandwiches, from start to finish, for lunch - and being able to trust that he can do it well - is a huge life saver when the baby is teething and only wants to be held by Mommy.   Seriously.  Game-changing parenting move.

*****

So, there they are.  My five fave parenting tips that were passed on to me and that I refuse to ignore.    

What are your must-do-parenting things?  Share on FB or in the comments below!