well, you CHOSE this, you know...

It's been a rough past few months, and other than a mentioning of it in passing or when I call or text to cancel plans (once again), I haven't really felt able to talk about it.   

You see, I've had to cancel plans a lot.

A LOT.  

We've had to stay home and away from the "real" world a lot.

A LOT.

For a family that's usually on the go and active, it's been really hard on all of us.  Staying inside instead of going snowshoeing.   Canceling a field trip and staying home.   Delaying plans for a big science experiment or kitchen experiment because once again, I'm sitting on the couch, cuddling a child who doesn't feel well.

Mr Theo gets sick.  A lot.

A LOT.

And it's been hard on all of us.  Funnily enough, I don't think it bothers *him* too much - obviously he doesn't feel well, but I think he's so used to being sick that he knows right what to do and has come to terms with it.   That in itself makes me feel so sad for him.  Our little guy has gone through so very much in his short lifetime, and that's just not fair.

We went from a family who had one sick visit to the doctor in over 4 years to a family who is hardly able to leave the house because of a fever or snot or coughing.    And, to tell you the truth, it's been a struggle.    Tempers flare.   The big kids are disappointed, once again, that we can't go do what was originally planned.   We're tired from not sleeping at night (that's when his fevers flare up and when he's most miserable and wants Mommy and/or Daddy the most), and bored during the day.   

The big boys turn into zombies and then monsters with screen time, even educational shows, so I have to ration out movie time and computer activities.  Honestly, it's usually more work for me to RECOVER from screen time ("I'm bored...."  "He's looking at me..." "I don't know what to doooooo...") than it is to just try to entertain them without a screen.....but I'm running out of ideas and ways to motivate.   And my stash of art supplies is running low.....but I can't go shopping for more because of fevers, coughs, and snot.   I can't leave him with a babysitter, and can't take him with me, so going to the store is out.  My brain is mush, so ordering things online doesn't always happen because I just plain forget by the time I sit down.  (Mental note:  place order once you finish blogging).

We're tired, we're grumpy, and we're all feeling stir crazy.   Oh, and I'm covered in snot.  ALL.OF.THE.TIME.

But yet, I feel like it's not okay to talk about it, or if I'm going to talk about it, I have to be all "matter of fact" about it and not complain, at least not more than a quick comment.  ("Yep, Theo's sick again, so we can't go anywhere.   Stupid chemo wiping out his immune system!").

Why?

Because we've been reminded in the past that we "chose" this road.   Yes, I guess we did - we did answer the call to adopt and yes, I guess we DID go into this with full knowledge of his medical history and knowing that this first winter, especially, was going to be hard as his little body and non-existent immune system meets new viruses for the first time.

And, as we're slowly surrounded by a whooping cough outbreak that could kill him as we try to get his vaccines up to date with the CDC's schedule, and as I spend every illness sitting by his bed, obsessively taking his temperature (104.7 at one point last night) and calling the doctor and trying to will him better and healthy and wondering if this one might be the one that's more than the common cold that's going around (hello, influenza epidemic.  Oh, hi, norovirus outbreak.), I worry.

I worry about him and his health.  When do I call the doctor?   The on-call doctor doesn't know his health history as well as our regular doctor....do I wait until morning?   When do I go to the emergency room?  Is that more dangerous for him there, with MORE germs sitting on every surface?   How can I ease his suffering enough that he can sleep through the night for the first time in days?

I worry about his big brothers.   Will they resent him because, once again, they're going to wake up to the news that he's still sick and we have to cancel our playdate or field trip again?   Will they hold it against him that Mommy can't go with them on an adventure, but they have to go with friends alone while she sits at home, cuddling their sick little brother?

I worry about his little sister.   She's so young, and we're no longer breastfeeding.   Is she at danger of getting whatever he has?   How can I keep them apart and keep her toys clean from germs?

I worry about his father.   It's been such a busy couple of months with hard on-call shifts.   Is it better to bring Theo into our bed and take the chance that his coughing and fidgeting (he doesn't relax when he's feverish) will keep Mike awake, or should I sleep out on the couch with him and hope that his coughing doesn't keep his siblings awake, just around the corner?

I worry about my own stamina.   Can I make it one more night of not sleeping, with one more day of being covered in snot and being touched ALL.OF.THE.TIME (I'm not a cuddly person), and push through one more day of trying to do school and not disappoint the big kids, while keeping the house full of food and everyone at least in semi-clean clothing?    Can I ignore the dust bunnies on the floor and keep the now crawling baby away from them, since she puts everything in her mouth?

And then the fever breaks and he seems to get better, and we chance leaving the house.   With every bathroom break (it's unavoidable with 5 kids and freezing temperatures - you just can't let kids pee on the tree and/or change the baby in the car when it's this cold!), I wash wash wash his hands and then slather on hand sanitizer as we leave the bathroom.    I read articles about the vaccination rates in Maine and the spread of previously eliminated diseases that could kill him if he is exposed and becomes sick (and that admonish me, as the parent of an immune-compromised child, for even thinking that I could leave the house and live a normal life), and I stress.   About what might be in the air around him.   About telling friends (and trying not to offend them when I tell them this) that we need to stay away for now, until I can get him up to date and healthy again.    About his non-existent immune system already on overload and struggling to fight off what appears as sniffles in his big brother or his classroom friends.   About the effect this will have on his siblings and their adjustment to our "new normal."  About the inevitable "Well, you knew this was coming..."comments because, yes, we did know it was coming, but we didn't realize how stressful and scary everyday life would become.

My little boy is throwing all of my conventional parenting wisdom and previous experience into the trashcan, and it's a stress that overwhelms me at times.

We did *choose* this when we fell in love with a little boy from halfway around the world who needed a family.

And we'd *choose* it again, without hesitation.

But, sometimes, it overwhelms and crushes and sucks out your soul with every thermometer reading and box of kleenex and bottle of Purell.   And you just want to cry, because no matter what you do.....nothing works.

His body may never be able to fight off the germs in the world around us....we just don't know.  This may get better with time and exposure....or this may be our true new normal.

And I don't know how I feel about that.

"More Nanny's" Butter Tarts

Back when Nicholas (now 6) was right around 18 months old, we were visiting my parents.   Growing up, we always called my maternal grandparents "Nanny" (Grandma) and "Poppy" (Grandpa), and we continued that tradition with our own circus clowns, calling my mom Nanny and my dad Poppy.   

There was a slight issue, though.....my maternal grandparents are still alive, and trying to explain which Nanny and which Poppy we were talking about was really confusing the circus clowns.  We needed a way to distinguish between generations of grandparents!

We tried "Great Nanny" and "Great Poppy".... but it didn't stick.

We tried "Nanny G" and "Poppy G".... but it didn't stick.

Nicholas, then 18 months, solved the problem for us during that visit to my parents.   I had been standing in the kitchen, with him on my hip,when my mom walked into the room. 

"Nanny!!" he exclaimed, happily.

Then MY Nanny (grandma) entered into the kitchen.

Nicholas paused, with a confused look on his face.   Then, his face lit up.

"MORE Nanny!!"  he cried!

......and that's what stuck.   "More Nanny" and "More Poppy" became the names that we called my grandparents, while "Nanny" and "Poppy" were reserved for my mom and dad.

******

Yesterday, we were stuck in the house during yet another snowstorm (we've gotten something like 37 inches of snow this week, with more predicted for tomorrow night and then again on Wednesday), and with a little boy who had a fever.    We made cookies.....and then Joseph begged to make his favourite dessert:  More Nanny's butter tarts.

Mike, who also loves butter tarts, jumped into the kitchen to help him make them.   Mike will *never* turn down an opportunity for butter tarts!

Since my copy of the recipe is hand-written and on index cards that have seen better days.....I thought I'd also blog about them, so that the recipe is a bit more accessible for future baking days.

Enjoy!

******

More Nanny's Butter Tarts

 For the pastry: 

6 cups flour

1 tsp salt

1 tsp baking powder

1 lb shortening

1 egg

1 tbsp vinegar

cold water

For the filling:

2 eggs

2 cups brown sugar

2 tbsp vinegar

1 tsp vanilla

1/2 cup butter, melted

1 and 1/3 cups currant, chopped raisins, dates, figs, or nutmeats

Step 1:  The Pastry Dough

Sift together the flour, salt, and baking powder.  Cut in the shortening.   Beat the egg in a small bowl, and then put it in a 1 cup measuring cup.  Add the vinegar and fill to the top with cold water.    Add this to the dry mixture, a little at a time (you probably won't need all of it), making a smooth dough as you mix in the water.

Step 2:  Cut up the raisins, if you're using them.

Step 3:  Make the filling.

Beat eggs only until the whites and yolks are well blended.  Beat in the sugar, then add the vinegar and the vanilla.   Stir in the melted butter and the fruit.

Step 4:  Line the muffin cups with pastry.

Spray your pan with cooking spray or grease it before using it.

We use a mini muffin pan (or a tart pan), because we like the smaller butter tarts.   You can make this in a regular muffin pan, too.    Since we have a little tart "press" tool (basically a wooden stick with balls on each end), we don't pre-cut the pastry.   Instead, we roll it into small balls and place that into the pan and smoosh (technical term) it down with the press tool.    If you don't have that, it's usually easiest to cut a small circle with a cookie cutter, drinking glass, or an empty, clean aluminum can, and then press that disk of dough into the muffin pan.

Step 5:  Fill the pastry shells.

Fill each pastry shell with the butter mixture, until the shell is 1/2 to 2/3 of the way full.

Step 6:  Bake!

Bake in a hot oven (450º) for the first 10 minutes, and then drop the temperature to moderate (350º) and bake 20-25 minutes, or until the filling is firm.  (This will just depend on how big of a butter tart you're trying to make!).

Then, let it cool and enjoy!

Graham's "Spicy" Veggies

Ingredients

1 tsp grated fresh ginger

2 garlic cloves, minced

1 tsp mild curry powder

1 medium onion, diced

3 bell peppers, any colour, diced

8 oz sliced mushrooms

2 potatoes, peeled and diced

2 heads worth of broccoli florets 

2 tsp garam masala

1/2 tsp ground coriander

2 cup chicken or veggie broth

2 tbsp honey

2 tbsp tomato paste

28 oz diced tomatoes

1 and 1/3 cup heavy cream

2 tbsp lemon juice

3 cups cooked rice (we like basmati)

Original recipe came from this book (which I HIGHLY recommend for your kids - we love it!), and then we tweaked it to make it less meat-heavy and a vegetarian option)

Step 1:

Prepare your veggies

Step 2:

Sautee your onion, garlic, and ginger in a little bit of water to keep from sticking, for about 5 minutes, or until the onion is translucent.

Step 3:

(not pictured)

Add your spices to the onion/garlic/ginger mixture, and cook until it becomes really fragrant, about 3to 5 minutes.

Step 4:

Add your veggies to the onion and spice mixture.

Step 5:

Add your broth, tomatoes, tomato paste, and honey to the veggies.   Dream of a larger pot for cooking for your family and resolve to shop online for one (and promptly forget while moving on to the next step of the recipe).   Cover and simmer until the veggies are tender.

Step 6:

Add in the cream and stir very carefully.  Simmer uncovered for about 10 more minutes, until it's thickened.

Step 7:

Stir in lemon juice, then serve immediately over rice.  Enjoy!

Quick Takes

Linking up with Kelly again today!

I'm too lazy to go and look up the different categories that I decided on, so.......I'll just do my best.

1.

In the Kitchen

Hmmmm...nothing too exciting going on in the kitchen this week.   Yesterday, in particular, was a horrible food day - we ate out for EVERY meal except breakfast because of our schedule.  Blech.  I did try the Soba Noodle broth bowl at Panera and it was pretty good.    Something different, ableit super salty.   I definitely was crazy thirsty afterward.

2.

At School

Yeah, so schooling has kind of been a "just do the basics" this week, too.   I do think I'm going to try a new project with the kiddos, though.  A friend mentioned that she had her son create his own curriculum for a cooking class, planning the techniques and resources needed, and then how to teach cooking a particular dish.  My boys LOVE to be in the kitchen, so I think we're going to do something similar - maybe with friends.   We'll do a cooking tv show, though, I think - they'll plan out the recipe and the script, go shopping, and then film the show, and then edit it on our computer.   The "premiere" will be when we watch the show and (maybe, if I can finagle it) enjoy the dish that is prepared.    I think the kiddos will have a lot of fun, and I love watching their creativity on independent things like that, too!

3.

What I'm reading

Okay, I'm cheating.  I haven't read this YET, but they're written by a dear friend and I know she's talented with words.   Are you looking for something to read?  Go check it out!

4.

In the Gym

Alright, I'm struggling here, I will admit.  I thoroughly enjoy the T-25 workouts, and you'd think that 25 minutes isn't too much time to find during the day, but.......I'm having a hard time doing it.   Could I be working out instead of blogging?  Probably - but the kiddos are all around and working on projects and the only "safe place" for the baby is also where I work out (by the tv).   I've been doing it after the kiddos go to bed at night, but then I struggle with going to sleep.  Maybe the secret is working out and then drinking this.   Does anyone else have this issue and only have time to work out at night?  How do you balance it?  I feel like I'm dragging out of bed the next morning.   (Oh, and working out before the kids get up is unreliable with the baby's wake up time, AND because our oldest child has a super sonic "MOM'S AWAKE" sixth sense and walks out of his bedroom within minutes of me leaving my bedroom, no matter what time I get up!).

5.

Clown Update

We officially have a crawler!  She's slow, but steady, and more than anything else, totally in love with her newfound freedom.   Her favourite place to head, once she starts moving?   Right next to the light switches in the sunken living room - she loves to push the buttons and see what happens!  

Say a prayer for our little Theo-Rio.  He's fighting off some sort of virus and is absolutely miserable.  Part of the reason that this week's been so hard to stay on top of things is due to him being sick - he just wants to cuddle, and while I'm happy to oblige him....it makes it really hard to do anything else around the house.   Sometimes I really hate the fact that we live in a fallen world and beautiful little children have to deal with horrible things like chemo and cancer.  

6.

What I'm hearing....

Right now?  Magic School Bus.  Thank you, Netflix, for bringing it back.   Today's science lesson, at it's very best........

7.

The week in review...

Like I said above, it's been a hard week.  I'm exhausted and kind of totally touched out.   I'm going to write more about it later - this winter has definitely been a cross for me.  I was expecting it, but it still took me by surprise.   I kind of feel like I'm doing my Lenten penance a bit early at times.   It might sound dramatic, but to go from one doctor's visit in  4 years to a child who's constantly sick and clingy while he's sick really has been challenging.   I feel like this one little guy is throwing my entire parenting knowledge for a loop when it comes to sickness and nursing ill children, and that has been really difficult, mentally, for me.   Stay tuned....

***

Alright, lunchtime and laundry calls me.  Have a good weekend, all!

*****

OH!  ETA - we're currently trying to figure out our vacation plans for May.  If you have super awesome, money saving Disney tips, please let me know.  That was our first choice, but budget constraints are leading me to think it might not happen....

Five Faves

Sigh.  In the time between I hit "post" on the hamburger bun recipe and opened up this page to write, a certain Circus clown dropped my cell phone into a bowl of water.  It's currently getting to relax in a bag of rice, but if you need me, shoot me an email or call the house number.   

On with the show!

Hanging out with Jenna today for Five Faves!

1.

This soup.  Seriously.  I'm craving it on these cold, snowy days.  So so so good.  (and we do add sweet potato to it, to bulk it up a bit).

2.

This dress.   I drool over most of the clothing on ModCloth, and finally gave in and bought this dress.  It shipped today.  I'm so excited!

3.

While we're talking dresses, these ones for baby Ruthie.    I bought a couple back in October, and she wears them almost daily (I'm not exaggerating.  I pretty much take them off, wash them, and put them back on her).  They're so cute and they have held up SO well.   You honestly can't tell that they've been washed and worn so much.   Great quality!!

4.

We've had a rough winter so far with cold viruses - I think Theo's weakened immune system and the fact that he's in school 3 days a week has meant that we are bringing home EVERY bug possible out there.  While we are pretty good about fighting them off quickly, it's meant that every couple of days, someone comes down with mild cold symptoms.    Poor baby girl has had a cough quite a bit this winter, and it's often one of those coughs that comes on *just* as she's falling asleep and makes getting her to sleep a bit tricky.  (trickier than normal, which is saying something, considering she HATES going to sleep).   Mike came home with some of this stuff one day, and we have become total groupies.  It smells GREAT and it really does work well - if I can remember to put it on her when I'm getting her pajamas on, she falls right asleep with no coughing.  It's fabulous stuff.......we call it her happy hippy baby rub.  

5.

Hmmmm....why do I always blank on the fifth one?  I need to start writing these things down....it happens every week!  OH RIGHT!  I was going to tell you guys about this shop on Etsy.    We purchased Jesse Tree ornaments from them this past year, and I was so happy with the quality and beauty of the ornaments.    So much so that I'm planning on going back and ordering these Stations of the Cross ornaments for Lent.   They're beautiful and I can't wait to add this into our Lenten journey as a family.  Go check them out!  (Just don't buy her out because I still need to get ours!).

Have a great day, y'all!

*******

If you didn't already know, we did deactivate our FB accounts.  You can still follow us through the blog FB page at this link:

This Circus Life

Just go to that page, click on "Like", and our blog updates will show up on your newsfeed.   If you use FB to communicate, please think about adding us!   You can send us private messages through that blog page, so it's super convenient if you're on Facebook a lot anyway.   Thanks!

You will never go back...

...once you try these homemade hamburger buns!    

It's no secret that I'm a bread machine addict.   For the longest time, everyone teased me about buying the $5 machines at a garage sale, using them until the motor ran out, and then hitting another garage sale (or Goodwill if it was winter) to get a replacement.   The Circus was where bread machines came to die, it seemed.

Until Christmas a few years ago.  My brother spoiled us with the most amazing bread machine that is still going strong....something like 5 years later!   I used to use this thing almost daily, and now probably use it 3 to 4 times a week (we don't eat as much bread as we used to).   It's a great machine!

Anyway, yesterday was a snow day, where we ended up getting about 2.5 feet of snow in a 24 hour period.    I'd planned and shopped for meals that didn't need electricity to be prepared, since there was a prediction of really strong winds that could easily cause power outages.   

That meant that snow day meals included this beast:

Why yes, that *is* an indoor charcoal grill!   Thank you for asking!  

When we looked at this house, I thought this contraption was one of the silliest things that I'd ever seen.  Who would want to grill *inside* their house and make it all stinky?

Ummm...I'm not going to tell you how many times we've used it in the last six months. 

That would be silly.

Anyway, last night's dinner was supposed to be burgers on the grill.   And the rascals were SUPER excited for a "summery" meal in the midst of a blizzard......so when I realized, just after cleaning up from lunch, that I'd forgotten to purchase hamburger BUNS for said burgers....there was quite a bit of disappointment happening at the Circus.

But then I remembered.......I had a bread machine recipe from this book for hamburger and hot dog buns!

So, we loaded the ingredients into the bread machine and prayed that the power stayed on (it did).  About two hours later, we were enjoying some of   the most amazing hamburger buns that we've ever had, if I do say so myself!   Here's the recipe for you to try out:

Whole Wheat Hamburger and Hot Dog Buns

(1.5 lb recipe)

1 cup water

1 egg

2 cups all purpose flour

1 cup whole wheat flour

3/4 tsp salt

1/4 cup shortening

1/4 cup sugar

3 tsp active dry yeast

Place all ingredients into the bread pan, select DOUGH setting, and press start.

When the dough has risen long enough, the machine will beep.  Turn off bread machine, remove bread pan, and turn out dough onto a floured countertop or cutting board.   Gently roll and shape the dough into a 12-inch rope.

With a sharp knife, divide the dough into 8 pieces for hamburger buns, or 12 pieces for hot dog buns.

Grease a baking sheet.  Roll pieces of dough into balls and flatten for hamburger buns (flatten LIGHTLY) or shape into 6 inch rolls for hot dog buns.  Place on the prepared baking sheet.   Cover and let rise in a warm oven for 10 to 15 minutes until almost doubled.  

Preheat oven to 400º.  Bake 12 to 15 minutes until golden brown.  Remove from oven and cool on racks.   When ready to use, split buns in half horizontally.   These will keep in a plastic bag in the freezer for 3 to 4 weeks.

Snow Day Fun

One of the "perks" of homeschooling is that I get to determine when we "close" for a snow day....and today is not a snow day.   If we're stuck inside, we're going to  get some work done and save the day off for a beautiful, sunny day where we can go PLAY in the snow!

However, everything else is closed today because of the blizzard, so we're still on a leisurely school schedule today - you can do that when you have nowhere to go!  It's the best of both worlds.....a slow school day with plenty of breaks for fun AND a beautiful day off when everyone else is stuck inside at their desks.  Homeschooling for the win.....

And what would a snow day be without any Legos?

(Boring, that's what!)

Today's creation from Mr Joseph.....the church we go to (the Basilica of Sts Peter and Paul):

The front of the church

side view

The sanctuary

An architectural detail:  inner columns

....no "snow day" would be complete without a little painting in our pajamas.....

.....or designing a city mural.....

Yay, Ruthie!

Showing off her latest achievement...

Yes, she will do this if you happen to greet her with a "Yay!!  Ruthie!!!"

And she's mighty pleased with her newfound skill......

What they didn't tell me.....

When Mike went to medical school, and then decided that he was going to go into OB/GYN, I thought I did my due diligence.

I talked to OBs.

They told me about disappearing spouses on long call shifts....

....and middle of the night phone calls and pages

....and outrageous student loan payments.

They taught me how to smile warmly at someone that I didn't know....and that Mike couldn't introduce me to because of privacy laws....but who would stop us in the grocery store to say hi and show her doctor the baby that he delivered.

They warned me about inappropriate dinner table conversations suddenly becoming commonplace.

They told me that everyone would start to talk to me about their medical situations, assuming that Mike had already filled me in.  (He doesn't, just FYI, because he can't).

They told me about post call shift binge eating and manic shopping strips.

They taught me the "resident's trick"  (chug a cup of coffee and then take a 20 minute nap).

They showed me the secret energy snack that residents live on (graham crackers + peanut butter).

They reminded me that small town doctors know everyone......and everyone knows (or can recognize) the small town doctor's family.

They introduced me to awesome organizations and people who lived like us and thought like us and shared our faith.

They helped us grieve through the loss of our own babies and taught us about organizations that could help Mike help his patients heal after their own losses.

They taught me what it meant to be the wife of a Catholic OB/GYN.

....except for one thing.....

They never told me how hard it would be to see your spouse grieving for his patient's loss.   They never described the complete helplessness that you feel when there's nothing you can do to make it better or fix it or even lessen the pain of the doctor who did everything he could and it still wasn't enough.

They didn't tell me the words that I could say that would make the hurt go away - not even just a little bit - when he finally is able to come home and collapse from the sheer exhaustion of grieving in one room while motivating and encouraging in the next room over.

They didn't share how to parent the doctor's children who want to know why Daddy is upset when everything in their world seems okay.

They forgot to tell me how to hold his strong, steady hands while tears fall down around you and he struggles to tell you just enough that you can understand without telling you too much and breaking confidentiality.

They forgot to tell me that the miracle stories would be challenged by stories of great loss and suffering, and that I needed to be the one to praise God when he struggled to find the words.   That the valleys would be deeper than I'd ever thought they could be, and the fall from the mountaintop would be sudden and violent.

What they didn't tell me when they talked about lack of sleep and missed family dinners and student loan bills and silly surgical caps and children scandalizing teachers with proper anatomical terms and analyzing nfp charts while making dinner is that all of those things are the easy part.   The real work of supporting a doctor-spouse comes when you're patching up the cracks on a breaking heart and catching tears as they fall on pillowcases.    

......and I never know what I'm doing.

He said,

“Naked I came forth from my mother’s womb,

    and naked shall I go back there.[a]

The Lord gave and the Lord has taken away;

    blessed be the name of the Lord!”

Job 1:21

Sometimes....

.....I wish there were more than one of me

.....I wish laundry would fold itself

.....I think about tying two of the clowns together in a three-legged-race contraption to force them to work together instead of just bicker all of the time

.....I brew a pot of coffee at 1:30pm and hide with a hot cup and fresh cookies

.....I want to kiss the person who created the crock pot

.....canceled practices are harder than just driving to them through the snow storm

.....I wish I could go back in time to make bad things not happen

.....Mike's job is harder than people want to admit it is, and a heck of a lot sadder

.....I wish I'd bought stock in ear plugs

.....the stillness of a snow day seems suffocating and not liberating

.....I ignore the laundry waiting to be folded

.....I make cookies "just because".....I need them.

.....the gamble I take of letting Theo put himself to sleep instead of sitting in his room with him does *not* pay off

.....I have to consciously remember not to cry

.....toddler poop is gross.  Especially when it's in a pull up......(okay, this isn't sometimes.  This is always).

.....you just have to throw plans out of the window and turn the music up and just try to praise Him through it.

White Bean Spinach Soup

How about another winter soup recipe?  Awhile back, I went looking for easy, low-fat soup recipes, and stumbled across this one.  It was a good start, but didn't quite fit our dietary preferences, so I tweaked it a bit.  Here's the finished product.  I like this soup because it's "warming" (one of those soups that just warms you through-and-through), and it's made completely of things that I always have on hand.  We just eat it as-is, but it would be awesome with a loaf of Italian bread!

White Bean Spinach Soup

2 shallots, diced

2 cloves garlic, minced

8 cups broth (veggie or chicken would work fine)

2 x 14.5 oz cans diced tomatoes

3 cans (or equivalent) cannellini beans, drained and rinsed

16 oz bag of frozen spinach (you can use fresh, too)

2 tsp dried rosemary

black pepper

crushed red pepper

Sautee the garlic and shallots in a small amount of water, over medium heat, until they are translucent.

Separate approximately 2/3 of the beans and put into a blender with about 2 cups of the broth (I eyeball it, sorry!).  Blend together.

Add the blended bean/broth mixture, the rest of the broth, tomatoes, rosemary, and rest of the beans to the shallot/garlic mixture.  Season with black and red peppers, to taste.



Bring to a boil and let simmer for 15 minutes.   Add spinach and cook until wilted (if fresh) or heated through (if frozen).   Serve hot.

That's it!  It's like a minestrone in flavour, but super easy to make, and the added beans give a great protein punch (and hold your appetite over longer).     Theo, especially, is a huge fan - he will quickly swipe your bowl when you're not looking!

Enjoy!

Quick Takes

Linking up again today!

Doing this quickly before we head out on a field trip!

1.   

At School

Is it weird that I'm not feeling the February burnout coming on yet?   Hmmmm.

Also, today Nicholas told me that he wanted to go to "homeschool college."   Would that mean an online degree?  ;)   I also can't decide if this is a sign that he loves what I'm doing and I'm just plain awesome.....or if it means that he needs more social interaction.

Nah. 

I'm definitely awesome.

2.

In the Kitchen

I'll write up our version of this recipe later, but this is tonight's dinner.    Basically, I follow the recipe loosely, but omit the pasta and double the beans.  Half of the beans I stick in a blender with some of the broth and puree them.   All of the family likes it, but Theo LOVES it.

3.

 In The Gym

Well, after West Point, we picked back up the T-25 workouts again.  I'm slightly annoyed that I haven't lost more weight yet, but I also have had a lot working against me.   And while I haven't lost much weight (only 4 lbs so far), I *have* noticed that I've gotten much stronger - I can push harder during the workout itself, and my balance is WAY better during the stretching/strength portions.    Oh, and my pants are too big, even after just washing them.   So things are definitely improving, even if the scale isn't moving.  I'm guessing that my muscles are getting stronger, and if I keep it up, I'll suddenly have a weight loss jump or something like that.  We'll see!  I'm definitely not giving up, though.   

4.

On The Radio

We do a lot of audio books in the car during long rides, so that's really been all that's been on my radio recently....hmmmm....let's see.  We listened to The Railway Children on the trip to and from NY.   Can I ask just how one family of children has SO MANY THINGS happen to them?!?!  Seriously.   Save a deathly ill mother.  Have a father arrested.   Save a random Russian.  Arrange a surprise birthday party for the town.  Stop a train wreck...and those are just a few of the things.  It was really quite impressive!

5.

What I'm Reading

I'm still working through "Quiet", so I thought I'd link to a couple of online articles that I've found interesting recently.   Click on through!

Raising Prudent Kids, not Independent Kids

It's not about Rabbits, but maybe it's not about you either

10 Common Myths About Catholics that Critics Believe  (This one struck a chord, growing up in the bible belt and all...)

Want to save the babies?  Save their mothers

6.

Clown Update

Guess who can sit herself up now?  Yeppers!  Baby Ruthie.  She may have given up on crawling, as she prefers to just roll herself to where she wants to go, and then sit up.   Or pull herself up on anyone that happens to be nearby.   We'll see.  Maybe by next week she will have changed her mind again!  

She's also decided (thanks to a taste of yogurt last weekend) that she's definitely a big kid now and wants real food.   Any and all real food.  Or things that look like real food, like paper (sigh, true story).   This one's going to keep us all on our toes, I think!

7.

The Week In Review

I struggle with this week, every year.   Roe v Wade and the March for Life totally take over my thoughts January 22nd, every single year.  I'm sure it will come out in a post later this weekend, but this year I found myself getting angry on top of the sadness (I usually spend this week breaking into tears at the slightest thing).  I'm not sure what it was.  Maybe it was the pro-abortion protesters who ripped up the stage at the March for Life and then attempted to block the march itself (and were then arrested and the marchers went right past them - if there was ever a better depiction of good triumphing during these marches...I'm not sure what it is), but something struck me this year of the need to defend not only the babies, but the women involved in the abortion industry.    These women who have had abortions - the ones who the pro-abortion activists attacked (it was the Silent No More campaign stage that they attempted to destroy) - do not deserve the way that we treat them.  On both sides of the debate, honestly.  You've got the rabid pro-lifers who accuse them of murder....and the rabid pro-choicers who totally ignore and minimize the pain and depression (and often addictions to numb that pain and depression) that they are facing.  They deserve better from all of us.

Normally, this week finds me mourning my two babies that were lost - if other babies are just a "ball of cells" and "products of conception" and can be dismembered and lost.....what does that make MY babies?   But this week, I found myself angry.  Angry for the lack of recognition of the dignity of these babies AND the mothers.   We need to do better.  Much much better.

*****

I need to go load the rascals into the car and hit the road.  Please join me in praying for the safety of everyone heading home from Washington, and for the comfort of all who are hurting due to abortion.