How Our Homeschooling Has Changed Through The Years; or, How I Learned To Relax

Our homeschool "Mission Statement", which is displayed
in our schoolroom

We started homeschooling in the fall of 2011, just after moving to Arizona.  It had always been something that I was very drawn to, but Mike wasn’t fully on board when our oldest was the right age to start school.   We’d joined a co-operative preschool when Mike was in residency, and it had been a lifesaver for us:  because it was a co-op, I was forced into active participation with other members of our community, and it became our lifeline to the outside world.  With two small children at home, and Mike working 80-100 hours a week (rotating through night and day shifts or entire weekends away from home), that community formed an oasis for the kids and I to rely on.    He was hesitant to leave the traditional school paradigm, because he feared a lack of community like the one we'd found.

Then came kindergarten.   As a mom to a “young 5” child, I was very hesitant to send him to all day school, which was the only option in our area, unless we wanted to pay for a different preschool for a year….and that wasn’t really in the residency budget.   The co-operative preschool, while inexpensive, was maxing out our budget as it was, and I was cleaning the school on a regular basis to receive a break on that price.  

We discovered a local parish school that would allow Mr J to attend on a scholarship basis, and who had small classes (11 kids!), a wonderful teacher, and where the students actually attended mass weekly and holy days as a school.  It was a delightful fit, and a memory that we will cherish forever.  Mr J attended school there for 2 years, and while it wasn’t exactly what I was wanting as a family (early morning drop offs with now 3 small children, and afternoon pick ups during nap time, as well as missing Mr J for the 8 hours he was at school), it was a good compromise between my desire to homeschool and Mike’s comfort with traditional schooling.

In this time, we met and grew close to a family who had homeschooled throughout their children’s education, and who now had successful, kind, well-rounded adult children.   The mom wasn’t frazzled and depleted (I think that was Mike’s biggest fear for me), but was happy and joy-filled.   The children were polite, socially “appropriate”, and just all-around solidly “stand-up” human beings.

They changed Mike’s mind about homeschooling.   For the first time, I think he was able to see that home education was a valid, positive option, and it could be done well.    It wasn’t only a means to shelter children from the world (another one of his fears), and always a sub-par education (as a high achiever himself, he worried about providing quality academics at home).

I only pretend to be organized

In 2011, Mike accepted a job completely across the country, in the desert of Arizona (we’d been in Maine).  When we flew out to go house-hunting, we took the time to visit and research schooling options in the area.   While there were schools that came highly recommended, and were well-rated, they just didn’t feel like a good fit for our boys.   The class sizes were huge (25 kids was the norm at the schools we went to), and when talking to administrators, there was a significant lack of active time and emphasis on screen time, both of which didn’t feel like a good fit for the two kiddos we’d be enrolling.    In the process, we discovered a huge homeschooling network and co-operative group that afforded us tons of options that we otherwise wouldn’t have access to (PE classes!  Book clubs!  Science classes!).   

We talked it over, and decided to take the jump:  When we moved, we would bring the boys home for education.   I’d school them, using a store-bought curriculum, and we’d join the co-op for support, help, and activities.

And that’s exactly what we did.

It worked well for the year and a half we lived in Arizona.   We made friends, we participated in activities and clubs, and we basically practiced “school at home”, complete with desks in rows, facing the front of a spare bedroom, which was lined with bookcases full of books.   The two oldest boys were completing kindergarten and second grade work by lunch time, and we filled our afternoons with field trips and library trips and co-op activities.

When we moved back to Maine in 2012, I brought that model of school with us, even though deep down, I’d felt like it wasn’t quite right.   No one *liked* the workbooks that we were working through - getting Mr J to complete his math assignments was torturous for both of us - and we no longer had a dedicated school room in our house in Maine.    We had bookcases and a kitchen table, which meant all school “stuff” had to be cleaned up and hidden before we could eat any meal.  Not so bad at 6 pm for dinner, since we were usually finished with the day’s work by then, but definitely not ideal at noontime, when the 3rd grader usually had papers strewn everywhere, and the preschooler had play dough and other goodies we were using to keep him entertained spread all over the table.

“School at home out of a box” was no longer a good fit for us, so I started reading and researching and watching youtube videos and playing around with the definition of “school” for the Circus.

It’s taken a few years - we’re now going into our eighth year of homeschooling for Mr J and I’m now schooling 5 out of 6 kiddos during the day - but we’ve blended our educational styles and goals in to one that works really well for us, as a family.   The kiddos are meeting their milestones mostly on time (one kiddo took a long time to really get comfortable with reading, but he’s now fluent and knocking back age appropriate books, and I’m really grateful that we were able to work through it on *his* time and not a strict, school district time schedule).   They’re happy, and when given the choice, they have chosen to remain schooling at home, even when the option to attend a hybrid or full-time traditional school is placed in front of them.   Is homeschooling for everyone?  No.  But it’s the right fit for the Circus.

Over the years, we’ve determined that we don’t feel that a traditional, “boxed curriculum” plan is necessary for the younger elementary levels.  In fact, we don’t believe that any formal education is necessary for the younger levels.  Until about second grade, we don’t do any formal schooling.   We read together.   We play games together.   We practice math concepts together when shopping or cooking.   We research and learn about topics of the child’s choosing.   We go on field trips.   But honestly?  That’s it, and none of it follows a lesson plan.   We learn together, using life as a guide.  

This year will be a bit different, because I intend to work with Mr T in a more intentional manner, and I’m guessing Miss R will be right at his side (because she always is).  This is led more by his own special needs than anything else, another perk of schooling at home:  I can truly tailor each chid's plan to his or her needs.   While more formal, it will still be relaxed, and it will still be guided by his desires.

Mr N will be working his way through his third year using the Mother of Divine Grace curriculum, with a few substitutions (Story of Civilization for history, basically).   It’s a classical curriculum, and very gentle.   We spend the bulk of his day reading together and he still has most of the day to play and work on his own interests (logic games, mostly).

Mr G and Mr J will be doing all of their coursework through a virtual classical academy, and we’ve splurged for their online instructors to do all of the grading for me, opening up quite a bit of time for me to work with Mr T.   This is our third year using this virtual academy, and I’ve been very happy with their progress and learning.   They’ll spend closer to a “full” day of classroom work - about 4-5 hours each day - but still have a good amount of time to focus on their own interests (like Mr J’s artwork) and spend being active, before heading out to sports practices or music lessons.

Each of the kiddos has different goals in mind for their education, and it’s a fun experience to sit down every year and talk about those goals and dreams with them.  We work together on planning out their education for the coming year.   The amount of excitement and initiative they put into their own educational plan is a huge part of what keeps us moving along this home education path.   It’s not something being handed to them by a guidance counselor - they are active drivers in their academic experience, and Mike and I are the facilitators (obviously, we make sure that their plans meet requirements for their goals - like entrance requirements for various college programs, if that’s their dream, but truly, they are the primary actors in their education).  

Homeschooling is not a good fit for everyone, but here at the Circus?  It’s perfect.   

One of our big determining questions for any choice that we have to make, including schooling, is this:

Does this choice serve our family, or does it mean that the family is serving the choice?

Right now, homeschooling serves our family.   I don't know if it always will, and I don't know if the rhythm and system that we've adopted currently will always be what education looks like in our household.   We can't know what will serve our family best in years to come, but as we head into the 2018-2019 school year, I'm excited for The Circus Academy and the possibilities in front of us.