Thoughts on parenting

I know, I know, there are four million blog posts out there about parenting.   Feel free to pass over this one, I'm sure there's nothing new in it.   If you do choose to continue....consider yourself warned.

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Quick interruption:   Please, right now, pause and say a prayer for Mike's Baba (grandma).  She fell this morning and probably has broken her hip.  Last we heard, she was heading in for x-rays after being rushed to the hospital.  Considering that she's 92, a broken hip is kind of a big deal!  Please and thank you!

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Okay, back to the regularly scheduled programming that you've been warned about.  Parenting.

I'll admit, I'm not SuperMom.  Or anywhere close.  Ask my children about the time I called Mike at work crying because I obviously wasn't cut out for this.   Oh, which phone call, you ask?   Pick one.  There have been a couple.  ;)

But, anywho, one thing that I think I've finally figured out in the 10+ years that I've now spent parenting is this:   I'm tired of parenting for other people and their approval.

Maybe it's getting older, maybe it's getting wiser, maybe it's just getting more and more sleep-deprived, but I've realized recently that I've stopped surrounding myself with people (or virtual people) that make me feel badly about myself and my parenting (translating:  this does not mean that I only surround myself with people who praise me and my parenting.  Not at all.  I want to be challenged to do better, to grow in virtue - I want to be surrounded by those who build me up.  I'm not talking about being challenged...I'm talking about being led to be jealous, to be petty, to beat myself up over stupid things...basically, being torn down).    I don't think anyone ever did it purposefully, but back in my earlier parenting days, I spent a lot of time wondering what so-and-so was thinking about me, my kids, and/or my life in general.   

I spent waaaaayyyyy too much time focusing on other people's approval.    I never would have come right out and said it in those words, or even admitted it, but I did.  The boys had to be perfectly dressed, perfectly clean, and perfectly behaved because "gasp!  What if *insert someone's name here* thought I was doing something wrong?"

I still want my children to look nice....well, at least clean, I guess.   Clothing battles aren't high on my list, so the colours might not match, but they'll be clean!   I want them to have clean faces and take care of themselves and maybe, just maybe, not stink (although that's getting harder as the boys get older and do more and more working out in the gym!).   I still want them to behave well and make a good impression.

But while my desire that their behaviour or appearances be positive may not have changed in the past 10 years, the motivation behind that desire has changed.   Drastically.

I'm no longer parenting for the playgroup's approval.   

I'm parenting because I want them to have the inner knowledge as to WHY they should strive to take care of themselves.   I want them to know WHY they should treat themselves and others with respect and compassion.   I want them to know, deep down inside themselves, this one simple truth - we are created in God's image and that should direct every single thing that we do, and every single interaction with another person.

I don't really care if the playgroup thinks....but I care ever so much about what my child thinks.

I want my child to know that he/she is a temple of the Holy Spirit (shout-out to last weekend's readings at mass).  I want them to know that with every single fiber of their being.

So, I've stopped parenting for show....and started parenting for knowledge.   For dignity.   For Truth.